


Lost But Not Alone.

by Luna (MamaCake)



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Kissing, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Sticky Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 21:24:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17875127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaCake/pseuds/Luna
Summary: My own self indulgent fic of my OC aboard the Lost Light causing trouble and flirting and making new friendships (because at heart I'm still a 14 year old who likes putting an OC amongst canon characters). Lots of friend interactions, fluff and angst, and some relationship stuff, probably explicit in some chapters.Luna is Ratchet's friend and irritant, but he's glad he has her to turn to, even if she's sometimes too busy flirting with anything that moves and throwing unimpressed glances at the ship's captain. The only real reason she chose to come aboard the Lost Light is because if she stayed on Cybertron, she'd try to kill Starscream, tell Bumblebee to frag off and take a swing at Prowl.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I'll give a brief run down on Luna so she's not a total stranger 😊  
> She was a Decepticon, although not whole heartedly, she joined them to keep on eye on her brother who was very definitely swept up into the cause. She used to fling herself at any Decepticon who so wished in exchange for engex/energon because that's all she felt she was good at. She can use her field to sway mechs and femmes alike, almost like a siren/mermaid.  
> She's a seeker, light grey and purple and still gets jibes about her Decepticon colours, but she's adamant she won't change them. Bumblebee rescued her from where Starscream had left her for dead, after beating her and blinding her in one optic after she fought him back one time and brought her back to the Autobots where Ratchet fixed her. She was grateful for the help and grateful that she didn't have to sell herself any more, although she was very withdrawn from them for a while. When she got back in contact with her brother, he wounded Bumblebee and tried to kill her, so she cut ties with him. 
> 
> That's really brief sorry, but happy to answer any questions!

Rodimus had hoped that, whilst Ultra Magnus handled the last few checks for the Lost Light, he could grab some peace and finally beat the high score on his game. He leant back into his chair and flicked his feet up onto his captain's desk,  _ captain _ sounded so awesome, and booted up the datapad. Just as he was starting to creep up on the high score, there was a knock at the door that threw his concentration and he cursed. When he confirmed that whoever it was that could come in, he cursed again nearly silently. He didn't like visitors, and he really didn't like visitors that did a lot of huffing and angry retorts in his direction.

“Rodimus-” 

“ _ Captain _ .” 

“We need to talk.” 

“Can't it wait Ratchet? I've literally been talked at all morning and we should be heading off soon.” 

“Believe it or not, I'm trying to tell you this for your own good.” 

“Yeah yeah,” Rodimus stuck his glossa out in concentration. 

Just as Ratchet was about to protest once again that really Rodimus did need to hear this, there was a uniform  _ tap tap tap _ that could have only have come from one bot. With a growl, Rodimus barked at Ultra Magnus to come in. Maybe if someone could give him just five minutes, he would beat this fragging high score and rub it right in Drift's smug face. 

“Rodimus, Drift said he tried to contact you but you were unavailable, he said it's important you go meet him on the bridge.”

“Frag!” 

Ratchet eyed him carefully, and with a forced grin, the flame coloured mech threw his datapad into his desk drawer. Stupid game. Stupid interruptions. Pulling himself up, knowing he'd never be able to fob off the Cheif Medical Officer and his Second-in-Command, he stretched and nodded for Magnus to lead the way. 

They hadn't gotten very far when Rodimus’ attention was dragged away once again, this time by a small yellow bot who nodded at Ratchet and then met the captain's gaze shyly. She was carrying a few bags and obviously in too much of a hurry to stop and introduce herself as she bustled down the corridor in the opposite direction, her helm dropped down as if she wanted to be invisible. 

Ratchet and Magnus stopped when they realised that their captain had too, and they found him a few paces behind, his back to them and helm tilted as he watched the young femme stroll past. With a shake of his helm, Ratchet started forward to go retrieve him, but Magnus put an arm out and nodded back down the corridor. Ratchet was sure there was an ever so slight hint of amusement in his vocals when he spoke. 

“If he won't listen to us, then maybe he'll listen to her.” 

Ratchet turned his optics to where there was another femme coming towards them, following the yellow one. Her dark helm was down and her brow furrowed as she flicked through the messages on her datapad, shrugging her single bag back into her shoulder. Out of her single optic, she noticed that there was a blockage in her path. 

Ratchet was smiling wryly at her, leaning against the corridor on one side, Ultra Magnus stood stiffly the other side, arms crossed against his broad chest plates staring at the wall opposite, probably thinking about if the rivets were spaced at the correct interval. Then there was Rodimus stood in the middle, watching the yellow femme retreat away, a little too intently.

Oh. This was just the final straw. 

“Ratchet, Ultra Magnus,  _ Rodimus.”  _

“Oh scrap.” 

Rodimus whispered to himself then turned around, plastering on the biggest grin he could manage, holding out his servos placatingly. The one femme he could never win round might be fooled just this once but he wasn't about to count on it. 

“Luna! I'm, uh,  _ surprised _ to see you.” 

At the sight of his ridiculous expression, she folded her arms across her light grey chest and arched an optic ridge at him. He stared right back, his optics flicking to the patch over her non-existent left optic and noticing the irritated flutter of her wings. 

“Yeah well I'm not staying on Cybertron with… nevermind. Bee can handle it.” 

“Yeah, of course he can, he's a brave little-” he caught her glare, “uh… he can handle it.” 

Luna turned her attention to Ratchet with a nod at where the other bot had disappeared to.

“We're just going to put our stuff in our hab suite and we'll meet you in the medbay, okay?” 

“Sure.” 

With one last slightly menacing look at Rodimus, she sashayed her way between them, hitching her bag up onto her shoulder again. At the sight of her leaving, Rodimus relaxed his shoulders a little but then a voice called back to him. 

“And Rodimus, that was my daughter I caught you perving on.” 

“Your… what?” 

Ratchet supplied him, “adopted daughter. Her and Bee found a youngling and took her in.” 

“Oh yeah.  _ Frag _ .” He turned back, grinning a little less enthusiastically, “maybe you could introduce us sometime? I do like knowing who is part of my crew.” 

The remark was directed pointedly at the two mechs he was stood between and they exchanged a look and an ex-vent. Luna shook her helm and pointed aggressively at him. 

“You keep that charm of yours to yourself.” 

As she turned on her heels, Rodimus couldn't help himself at just irritating her a little more. 

“Always a pleasure Luna,” then he muttered, “always.” 

When he felt like he was finally out of harm's way, he quickly rounded on where Ratchet was looking amused and absently checking over his hands. 

“You knew!” 

“Are we going to just forget me coming to your quarters and saying  _ we need to talk _ ?”

“And you!” He pointed at Ultra Magnus, “you were supposed to know who was coming aboard!” 

“I was going to inform you after you had spoken to Drift.” 

Rodimus gritted his denta and made a call through to Drift, hoping that his friend wasn't about to annoy him too.

“Drift, if you were going to tell me that Luna had just come aboard, I'd think twice before saying it.” 

“Oh,” there was an obvious grin in his vocals, “so what should I tell you?” 

Rodimus was moments from throwing a tantrum when Ultra Magnus tilted his helm ever so slightly and gestured carefully at where Luna had gone. 

“I fail to understand why you are reacting in this way to someone who, whilst still a threat, is one significantly less than say Whirl.” 

“She  _ hates _ me.” 

“And for what reason?”

“Oh. It's a looong story-” 

Ratchet was enjoying this, “he slapped her across the aft once when he was drunk and hitting on everyone.” 

Rodimus raised a finger and closed his optics. 

“That makes me sound like a jerk.” 

“And?” 

The medic merely laughed at the glare he was getting in return and he was sure he heard a chuckle over Rodimus’ comms from Drift. 

“Okay!” He threw his hands up, “I’m done here, I'll be in my quarters, and I don't want to be disturbed! Unless another frightening, ex-Decepticon who would rip my spike off and feed it to me comes aboard, then I'd appreciate a heads up before I run face first into her!” 

Ratchet watched him stomp away with a laugh. Luna was definitely an acquired taste, and if you got on the wrong side of her you certainly knew about it and quickly. Luckily for Ratchet, him and the femme had become firm friends many years ago when Bumblebee had handed over her terribly injured frame into his care, and Decepticon or not, he wasn't about to leave her to succumb to her injuries. The second time he spoke to her, she was trying to tell him what to do, and he liked her feisty nature and her genuineness. From the beginning, he'd liked her a lot. 

When they had torn down the walls that she had built around herself, they had found that she wasn't a Decepticon by choice but rather had followed her brother into the lowly ranks. She was a self proclaimed lover, not a fighter and had found herself more useful providing company in a berth in exchange for engex to forget what she'd had to endure. 

Ratchet supposed he was a sucker for ones who needed fixing, not that she really let him beyond the odd time she'd needed actual medical help, but what he had done was offer her some training. Although she hadn't been built to be a medic, she did have deft hands and as long as she didn't exert herself too much, her vision held up fine. Sometimes she found it difficult to understand her skewed depth perception but she never gave up. She never gave up with anything. 

Luna had settled into the Autobots easily, she won nearly anyone over with a pretty smile and a cheeky giggle even though she knew she wasn't conventionally attractive with her scarred left side. Bumblebee had fallen for her hard and although it had taken time for them to get together, they had made a good couple.

Ratchet shook his helm sadly. The end of the war had ended a lot of things. 

He told Ultra Magnus he'd be taking inventory in the medbay if he needed him, and he hoped that soon enough his friend would show up like she'd said. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Luna has a stupid name, because when she first came to the Autobots, Sideswipe or Sunstreaker usually found her outside at night staring up at the night sky. Sunstreaker took to calling her Moon and she retaliated by calling him Sunshine, but she ended up changing her name to Luna, because she wanted to leave her Decepticon name behind (which was Rhea).

“Mom?”

Luna glanced up from where she was shoving her bags under the berth, she would deal with unpacking later, when she was absolutely sure she was going through with this, although she didn't have much time to decide otherwise. The small femme that Luna considered a daughter was standing uncertainly in the hab suite doorway, having already found a place for all of her belongings. She wanted to go explore, make sure she knew her surroundings but she also didn't want to leave Luna when she was in a bad place. 

“You don't need to be asking me permission Astrid, you go wherever you want to, you wanted to come.” 

“I didn't want you to think I was ditching you.” 

Luna smiled, “you are ditching me but I don't mind honestly, go. Just, stay away from Rodimus, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

The slightly timid femme took a moment to decide what she was doing, then rushed in, kissed Luna’s helm and took off, the blade she had slung over her back crashing against her as she ran. Luna ex-vented and went back to shoving her bags under the berth, then sat down, trying to stop the thoughts intruding. 

Instead someone else decided to. 

“She knows to kick 'em where it hurts, if anyone does anything she doesn't like.” 

Golden legs came into view, but she didn't want to raise her gaze, because he'd see right through her, an annoying habit of being such a good friend. Instead, she heaved herself up onto the berth and rested her helm in her hands. 

“She can take care of herself, I know. I don't need a reminder that she’s grown up and doesn't actually need me anymore.” 

“That's not true, she'll always need you, just not as much as she used to.” 

“I guess.” Luna ex-vented, “you next door?” 

“Yep. Kinda wish Sides would have come too though.”

Thinking back to her friend, she knew she would miss him but she was glad that his brother had decided to come along on the Lost Light. Sunstreaker was a good friend of hers too, and in years they'd grown as thick as thieves, he was always there covering her back and she was there telling him to calm down. They made a good pair, and when Luna was in the midst of battle trying to give someone medical attention or in a dodgy situation that they found themselves in all too often, she was glad he was by her side. 

Sunstreaker took the berth opposite hers and sat heavily, stretching his legs out in front of him. She noticed the thin line etched into the metal of his right limb from when they'd first become friends, and he'd taken a dive from a rooftop helping her. She had to smile a little, wondering why he'd stayed so loyal to her.

“You're sure about this? Because when we've gone, we've gone.”

“I know.” 

“I don't want you to change your mind when you're less pissed off.” 

“Sunny, I know. I know this could mean a long time away, but this was a long time coming. He couldn't expect me to stay with Starscream there.” 

“Yeah, but I just think maybe if this hadn't been an option, you would have stayed.” 

“No, I just would have found anywhere else, anywhere other than Cybertron.” 

“And Astrid is sure this is what she wants?” 

Finally she did meet his gaze. He should have known, not to say that, not to insinuate that Luna had swayed her mind, but he was staring her down with intense optics and arms crossed.

“Astrid can do whatever she wants, she's old enough to decide.” 

“What, so she believes in this quest? She believes in  _ Rodimus’ _ ?” 

“I don't know, but I know she doesn't want to be home right now. And I don't either.” 

“Maybe... you could have worked things out?”

The grey femme stood, purple optic blazing and pointing at the door. 

“If that's what you think Sunny, then leave. I'm not tolerating this, especially not from you.”

He held up his hands, “no, I know you do what you want by now and I respect that.”

Sunstreaker watched as her shoulders slumped slightly, the fight already out of her, and she sat back down heavily. Their fights usually went this way nowadays, Luna getting ahead of herself, throwing anger and other undeserved emotions his way, and he calmly, quietly extinguished the fire. Back when they were younger, it would have been the other way round, but the femme's demons had crept up behind her and pounced hard and fast, and try as she might, she couldn't bury them back down, not when it came to Starscream. 

“Why did you come Moon? Honestly? And why did Astrid come?” 

“Astrid insisted. She said if we wouldn't let her, she'd go find something else to go do. And me? I'm not letting her do this alone.” She glanced over, “so tell me why you came,  _ honestly _ .”

“Because where you go, I go, you know that by now.” 

“But Sides? Your  _ brother _ ?” 

“Eh, he can look after himself, he'll be fine and I've got him right here," he knocked against his chestplate above his spark, "plus, someone has to watch out for you and all the trouble you attract.” 

“And I appreciate you doing that. Sometimes I feel like you and Ratchet are the only friends I have left.” 

“Well,” the mech stood, “you could have worse. I'm gonna go see if there's anything I can help with.”

“And by that you mean, see if there's anyway you can piss off someone important before we even set off.” 

He clicked his digits and winked, “you know me so well.” 

“Lucky me.” 

She heard him pad out of the room, and she was finally left with her thoughts, ones she didn't want to be left with. 

Cybertron was her home, but all of the pain and memories that came with it made it hard to be there especially right now. When Astrid had said she was going aboard the Lost Light, Luna had dithered before diving in at the last minute. She couldn't bare the thought of Starscream being in the same vicinity as her and Bumblebee's refusal to give up, to let someone else take care of the planet had pushed her. If she wasn't important enough to Bumblebee to stay, then she'd make sure her daughter and her oldest friend stayed safe. The angry words that they had exchanged had stayed with her, and even though their relationship had been over for a while, she still had this hopelessly romantic idea that they'd get back together. 

Not now. Not when she was running light-years away. 

Luna decided to take a slow meander down to the medbay, barely acknowledging many as she passed. Some of the crew she barely knew, some only by name or sight and the rest neither. The captain, on the other hand, she wished she didn't. She found him irritating and hotheaded and  _ ridiculous _ , but it sure had shown Bumblebee how strong she had felt by choosing to come aboard his ship than staying on Cybertron. 

When she came to the medbay, she noticed someone slipping out. Drift gave her a small nod before swiftly and silently sweeping back up towards where he was needed. 

She made her way into Ratchet's sanctuary, taking a seat down into a chair by a desk, one that she'd most likely find him scowling at datapads at or recharging at, and she gave it a little spin. 

“Don't break my chair.”

“Are we at that point where we don't even say hello?” 

Luna was just leaning back, about to prop her feet up at the desk when from where he had his back to her, checking his tools, he barked at her. 

“And don't put your feet on my desk either.” 

She rolled her optic and mouthed  _ wow _ to herself when a little idea came into her head. Drift leaving. Drift here. 

“So, what did Drift do to piss you off?”

“What he's good at.” 

Spinning the chair around a little again, she chuckled to herself but just loud enough for her friend to hear. Ratchet turned, optics narrowed at her. 

“What?” 

“He's cute though right?” 

“Don't make me throw you out.” 

But when she raised her optic ridges in his direction, and nudged her field against him, he groaned and placed a hand over his optics. 

“Don't tell me you 'faced with him?” 

“Deadlock, damn, yeah that would have been one for my long list, but sorry, no, I didn't. Otherwise I could have told you about his-” 

“Luna!” 

She muttered, “he  _ is _ cute though.” 

“Did you come to help me or piss me off?” 

“Bit of both? Isn't that what I usually do?” 

Ratchet grumbled something and turned back to his tools, indicating at the desk at where there were a stack of datapads. 

“You can do the inventory for med-grade.” 

Even though he'd given her a tedious job, she was glad for it, because it took herself mind off what she didn't want to think about. Plus, nothing made her feel better than irking Ratchet, and she knew deep down he liked it too. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see from this chapter, Luna isn't her usual self (well not totally). She's reliving a lot of trauma from her earlier life and it's taking its toll on her, she's normally quite laid back and a lot of fun to be around.  
> Oh and I'm sorry if Sunstreaker seems OOC? Luna just affects him, she keeps him a lot cooler and softer than he normally is.

At the very start of the journey of the Lost Light Luna kept herself mostly to herself, amongst the chaos she was there, usually behind Ratchet helping him fix whoever or whatever needed fixing with his instructions. She was barely more than trained in how to make sure someone didn't die, but she still enjoyed being able to stay with her friend and she was pleased she could be of some use. When she was done doing that, she'd retire to her quarters and compile her journal, or read whatever she could get her hands on. Usually Sunstreaker would stop by, and they'd spend some time talking, and Astrid would always come back to her berth in the evenings when she was done helping around in the medbay or around the ship. She wasn't lonely, but she had very carefully picked those who she wanted around her.

Ratchet had been watching her though, and decided one evening as she was helping up after the sparkeater attacks, he'd try to encourage her to socialise more. By her nature, she was friendly and talkative, she was happy with company, but that version of her had seemed to have disappeared and it troubled him. 

“You know, you don't suit the sultry loner thing you've got going on right now.” 

Luna eyed him carefully from where she was cleaning down a berth and he turned his backstrut to her, to put his tools away. He didn't want to meet her gaze just then.

“Why don't you go meet some of the others?” 

“I've met them.” 

“When they're injured or dead yes. Since when did you ever turn down flirting? And there's a whole ship to flirt with.” 

“Since the fun part of me rusted away.” 

“It's not like you to be so solemn.” 

“And it's not like you to be so talkative.”

“Fine,” he slammed a drawer shut, “have it your way.” 

The silence stretched on between them, Luna cleaning thoroughly whilst Ratchet wiped down the tools as he lined them up. He knew he got annoyed too easily, but he was only trying to help and he also knew why she was so withdrawn. There was nothing he could do about that, not unless he wanted to end up in a cosy little cell, but maybe he could coax her out a little with something she enjoyed doing. 

Clearing the static in his vocaliser, he tried again.

“I heard Swerve has a bar.” 

“Give it a rest.” 

“A bar that shouldn't be running.” 

Ratchet could picture it now, even though his back was turned to her, the little twinkle in her optic as she thought about doing something against the rules, something against Rodimus.  

The medic went over to where his old friend was and placed a gentle hand on hers. She glanced up briefly then back down, this was the closest anyone had been to her for some time and she wasn't even sure how to take it. Back when she was still her flirty self, maybe she would have made an inappropriate joke, or an inappropriate move, but she didn't have the spark to anymore. Instead she ex-vented and moved her hand away, making to step away but he stopped her. 

“You can put it on my tab.” 

That earned him a small laugh from her. 

“Really?” 

“Really.” He touched her shoulder, “you need something, other than just hiding away, what are you afraid of?” 

“Being judged,” she said honestly, “judged on what I've done and who I've been.” 

“And then if anyone says anything, you have permission to send them down here to me with a dented helm. Plus, you're not the only ex-Con on board, and you didn't hurt anyone. Drift can't say the same.” 

Luna relented, “fine, just one drink.” 

 

Sunstreaker rubbed his helm as he made his way down the corridor towards the bar that Swerve had set up. When he'd gotten the call from the bartender he was just making some rounds on the ship, making sure there were no more spark eaters or worse hiding anywhere. 

He didn't want to do this, he really didn't want to do this at all but who else was going to? 

He palmed the door open and rolled his optics, he already knew what he'd find. 

“Frag’s sake.” 

Luna was stood on one of the tables with a small audience, laughing so hard she was bent double and when she spotted Sunstreaker, she straightened and pointed over at him. Her optic was wild and her grin lopsided, she was most definitely drunk.  

“This guy! This guy right here! The stories I could tell you!” 

“Moon, get down, c'mon, before you fall on poor, what's your name again?” 

“Tailgate.” 

“You'll squash him if you fall on him. C'mon.” 

Swerve edged out from behind the bar nervously, throwing careful glances at the femme and then whispered conspiratorially to Sunstreaker.

“I wouldn't have called but she said she'd  _ strip off _ to her protoform.” 

“She probably would.” He ex-vented irritatedly, “Ratchet told her to loosen up, but I don't think he meant this. Okay, who kept buying her drinks?” 

“No one, Ratchet, uh, said put it on his tab?” 

“And you just let her have  _ how many _ ?!” 

Sunstreaker tore his gaze away from a nervous Swerve to where Luna was leaning over saying something to Whirl who then laughed in delight. Before she could embarrass herself further, he was getting her out of here, no matter what. 

“So this is the illusive  _ nurse _ on the ship, ooh, I should have stabbed myself so I could have paid you a visit!” 

“Hey, scissor hands, shut up.” 

Luna wobbled, then sat heavily on the table, her legs hanging down either side of Whirl, and he let out another laugh of delight, throwing his sharp hands up in the air. Irritated that he was trying to ruin her fun, Luna crossed her arms over her chest plates and sulked at Sunstreaker. 

“You're such a killjoy! What happened to you?! You used to be fun.”

“And you used to be sober. C'mon, I'm taking you back to your hab suite.” 

“Aww Sunny! Don't ruin my fun! Look how many are in here! You know I love a room full of mechs and femmes!” She leant forward to whispered to Whirl, “in more way than one.” 

“Okay!” 

As gently as he could manage, with her protesting and his anger rising, he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, her feet crashing into his midsection repeatedly as she threw a tantrum Rodimus would have been proud of. At the door, he stopped where Swerve was still stood watching with amusement and apprehension.

“Don't serve her again, because I'm not doing this again.” 

Luna finally stopped cursing at him when they got back to the hab suite and he put her down onto the berth. She threw herself face down and he could only just hear her through where her helm was rested on her arms. Her long legs were kicking behind her and he had to move his gaze away. 

“You jerk! I was having fun!” 

“Yeah too much, way too much, in the wrong way. Sleep it off.” 

Sunstreaker wanted to turn and walk away before he said something he regretted, but there was a small sob and he groaned inwardly. With a look upwards as if to ask _Primus_ _why me_ he sat beside her on the berth. 

“Why…” she cried, “why am I such a jerk?” 

“Oh jeez. You're not, you just didn't, uh, what was it Bee would say? Oh yeah, you didn't make a  _ good choice _ .” 

“No I didn't, now I'm stuck with it!” 

“You mean coming here? On the Lost Light?  _ I told you!  _ I said you'd regret it when you cooled down!” 

“No!” 

“Then what?” 

The mech was worried, his face set in an emphatic frown and he reached out to gently touch her shoulder. Luna pulled herself up from the berth, wiping her leaking optic and pouted.

“Free drinks… and I blew it on the first night.” 

He once again cast his optics upwards then shook his helm, wondering why he was the one sat here dealing with drunk Luna and he realised Ratchet probably would have slung her on a medical berth and shouted at her until she slept it off. Besides, it wasn't like she'd never put him to bed when he was drunk. He softened his tone.

“Get some sleep.” 

A coy smile crept into her face then she edged towards him, but he was wise to her after so many years, and the field she was trying to press onto him that screamed  _ wanting _ and  _ lust _ . With a firm hand on her shoulder, he gave her a stern stare.

“Don't try and flirt your way out of me because I'm angry at you, I know you too well.” 

“Not well enough.” 

She whispered then grinned at him, and he pulled himself up off the berth, shaking his helm, but she stood too, trying to close the gap between them.

“Nuh-uh, I’m going!” 

“Yeah, next door,  _ alone _ , such a shame.” 

“No, I'm going to go shout at Ratchet until he listens for once and then threaten Swerve that if he gives you as much as one drop of that stuff, I'll hang him out the ship like a flag.” 

“Sunny…” 

“Luna.” 

The two stood facing each other, Sunstreaker now burning with anger, at her immature behaviour and the fact that he was the one just lately to be picking up the pieces, whilst Luna couldn't help but think mischievously. She closed the gap between them, placing a delicate hand on his chest plates and looked up at him, doing her best vulnerable look.

“I'm sorry. I can't help it.” 

“I know.” 

“And now me and Bee are over, I get to do what I want, with who I want.” 

And with that, she leant up and kissed him softly, sneaking a hand up to cup his jaw. He closed his optics and kissed her back, eagerly and pulled her closely into him. But then there was something inside of him, telling him  _ no _ so he gently pulled away, offlining his optics so he didn't have to look at her.  

“I can't. Not like this.” 

And he was gone, gone to do the shouting he needed to do, leaving the loneliness to creep in for Luna once again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drift and Ratchet fluff/banter because they are my absolutely favourite ever and I love them 😍

Ratchet was nearly done with his work, as done as the chief medical officer could be at least. His paperwork was all completed, his medbay was clean and his patients were stable, yet he couldn't quite pull himself away.

Even though he'd pushed Luna to go be sociable, he couldn't quite manage to do it himself, and he had to admit he missed some of the others, Bumblebee, Wheeljack,  _ Ironhide _ . He laughed to himself, he must be feeling homesick if he missed arguing with that stubborn, old, gruff mech, but then he tried to remember why he'd come in the first place. 

He thought back to the bar, maybe he'd go down there soon, and pretend to be more tolerant of company than he actually was, and he hoped Luna was having fun. 

Just as he slumped himself into his chair, ex-venting at his stiff hands, there was a knock at the door. He tried to not feel irritated and murmured that it was open. 

Well. This was unexpected. 

“Drift,” he barely glanced at him, “need something?” 

The white mech closed the door behind him, his optics flicking to the patients and then back to the medic. There was a shadow of a grin on his face as he made deliberate and slow steps forward, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword. 

“No.” 

There was a definite smirk this time and Ratchet lifted an optic ridge, still massaging his hands. 

“Then what? Just here to piss me off?”

It was Drift's turn to lift an optic ridge. 

“I was just coming to tell you, Rodimus is singing your praises for his hands. And…” 

“And?” 

He shifted his feet, “Luna is drunk.” 

Ratchet pushed his chair back to stand, ex-venting irritatedly knowing he'd brought this upon her, and himself. He should have known better, he thought after a drink or two she might have felt better but she'd never disclosed quite how bad her reliance on engex once was. He had this horrible feeling that she was just going to send herself spiralling down and a huge dose of guilt was washing over him. He was supposed to be there, and he wasn't. 

As Ratchet moved past Drift, the other mech put a hand out, holding him back right against his chestplate. There was a short moment where they exchanged serious glances, before Ratchet had to divert his optics away. 

“Sunstreaker took her back to her hab suite, I made Swerve call him.” 

“And it's my fault she was down there in the first place, I thought maybe she was over-” he stopped abruptly, “I should have spoken to her, instead of pushing her where I thought she wanted to be. Why didn't you get Swerve to call me?” 

“Because you're angry. What good would that have done?” 

And suddenly the medic  _ was _ seriously angry, because Drift was right and he hated it. If he had found Luna drunk and acting stupid, he would have chastised her like a sparkling and probably made the whole situation worse. She needed a friend, not a telling off. 

Ratchet clenched his stiff hands and looked back at where Drift was watching him intensely. Drift was wondering if he was going to have to fight the CMO to stay here, and he would, if he had to. It wasn't going to do anyone any favours if Ratchet went charging down to Luna's hab suite and raged at her. 

Ratchet backed down, turning his back on Drift and throwing his hands up in defeat. 

“Fine. But I'm going to check on her in the morning.” He lowered his voice, “what was she doing?”

“Nothing much, just what she's good at, although, Sunstreaker did drag her out kicking and screaming.” 

“She'll be pleased with him.” Another pause, “did you know her? Back when…?” 

“When we were Decepticons? It's okay, you can say it, it doesn't make Megatron appear or something.” 

“Don't be a jerk.” 

But Drift was back to grinning, having finally relaxed enough to take his hand from his sword hilt and instead crossing his arms over his chest. Ratchet had turned back to narrow his optics at him. 

“I saw her, maybe once or twice, and I knew of her, but we never met. She's not exactly my type.” 

And before he could think about why he shouldn't be saying it, the words were already out of Ratchet's mouth. 

“So what is your type?” 

The silent look of panic that crossed Ratchet's face as he heard the way that sounded made Drift laugh. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Wouldn't you like to know?” 

“So you did come here just to piss me off.” 

“Not intentionally, apparently it just happens. I could stay and irk you more, but I'm sure you're as busy as always.” 

But Ratchet suddenly didn't want him to leave and so he shrugged nonchalantly back, dodging his optics away so nothing would give him away. 

“Not particularly. You on duty?” 

“Nope.” 

“You just like carrying them around then?” 

Ratchet nodded to the swords at Drift's side and he felt a little self conscious. He supposed he didn't need to be armed all the time, and maybe it came across a little aggressive, but he knew he needed to be prepared for anything. He covered his embarrassment with another retort back. 

“You're not intimidated by my swords are you?” 

Ratchet narrowed his optics playfully. 

“No, maybe I'd like to see what you do with them sometime.” 

Drift laughed in reply, slightly taken aback by the medic's boldness whilst Ratchet decided that he'd been around Luna, and heard all of her lines, way too much. But when Drift threw himself down into Ratchet's chair casually, he thought maybe he ought to thank her. 

“So, what do two mechs do when they've got nothing to do?” 

“What do you and Rodimus usually end up doing?” 

Drift gave Ratchet an unimpressed look and Ratchet stifled a laugh to himself. 

“You could be useful and help me move some stuff around?” 

Drift contemplated it for a minute, “fine. But you owe me a drink. _Two_ drinks.” 

Ratchet rolled his optics but there was a small smile on his face as he did. When he saw Luna, he was going to thank her for sure, after he'd made his amends.


	5. Chapter 5

Luna stayed in her hab suite until she decided she had sulked for long enough. She hated making a fool out of herself and she was sure, evident by the fact she'd remembered Sunstreaker dragging her home, that's what she had definitely done. She needed to make things right, find her friend and apologise, but she needed to make sure she saw Ratchet before he went off on the mission she was sure would probably end in disaster, because apparently disaster followed the Lost Light.

When she arrived in the medbay, she found Drift there again and gave him a wry smile. Wordlessly, he pushed himself away from where he was leaning against Ratchet's desk, the medic himself frowning heavily at a datapad whilst he spoke.

“-then it's your funeral.”

“Sure,” Drift shrugged, “but we both know you need some back up.”

Ratchet grunted in response, and Luna made her way over to the back of the medbay where the patients who had taken a tumble from the ship were offlined for now. She waited patiently for Ratchet to finish talking, or rather snapping irritatedly, with Drift and as he was on his way out, Luna stopped him.

“Do me a favour?”

Drift eyed her warily. Although they were both ex-Decepticons, they'd barely moved in the same circles and had never really spoken beyond a simple greeting. Even when they'd both become Autobots, they still never really gotten to know each other but Luna knew, that they had something in common. They both cared about what happened to Ratchet, and Luna was good at protecting him from emotional hurt but when it came to physical hurt, she was worse than bad, so she hoped maybe Drift could do that.

Luna nodded over at the frowning mech at his desk.

“Make sure he doesn't do anything _stupid_ like get himself hurt if you're going with him to Delphi.”

Drift turned back briefly, then gave her a wry grin.

“I'll try.”

“And,” she rubbed her arm nervously, “try not to run into the DJD.”

“Not planning on it.”

He didn't move and Luna could tell that he wanted to say something else, but Ratchet interrupted them.

“Stay or go, I don't care, but someone shut the damn door.”

Luna rolled her optics and went to speak to Drift, but he was already leaving, shutting the door behind him. She wasn't sure what to make of him just yet, but she did hope he would stick to his word and look after Ratchet.

Wordlessly she made her way over to stand awkwardly by his desk, unsure what to say because she needed him to know how silly she'd been before he heard it elsewhere. Apparently he already had.

“How's your head?”

“Oh.” She rubbed at the back of her neck, “you know.”

“Yeah. It was my fault, I shouldn't have pushed you into doing something-”

She laughed, “Ratch, don't end that sentence with _something you didn't want to do_ because you know me and you know I like flirting and having a drink, it's just… there's a difference between enjoying a drink and getting smashed so I don't have to think about stuff. I guess I just wasn't in a good place, and I did act stupid,” she held up a hand in protest, “ _I did_. I uh… threw myself at Sunny, after he took me home and made sure I was okay.”

But he didn't look surprised, he looked intrigued. She furrowed her brow.

“What?”

“What did he do?”

“He um did the right thing, and he walked away.”

“Oh.” Ratchet placed his datapad down, “we're definitely on about Sunstreaker here?”

“Yes! I wasn't so drunk I didn't know who carried me home, I remember screaming at him enough. What are you getting at?”

“Nothing. I just wonder what gets into him when you're involved.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sunstreaker, being a gentleman? He took you home and _looked_ after you?”

“He's good at that.” She felt defensive.

Ratchet relented. Sunstreaker was good at that, much better than Ratchet was and maybe that's why he felt annoyed by it. He lapsed back into his usual self, feelings and apologies weren't really a big thing of his after all.

“You're right but no more drinks on my tab, it wasn't a good idea.”

“No, and I learnt my lesson.”

He looked up at her and gave her a weary smile, and she managed to return it.

“You ever think of seeing Rung?”

“For?”

But he knew she was being deliberately obtuse because she turned her gaze away from him, back towards the door as if she was worried someone might overhear their conversation.

“He could help, help you come to terms with what Starscream,” she flinched, “did to you.”

“I don't know, talking about it just makes it worse.”

“It's not always about talking about it. I might like being able to fix things I can actually see, but I admit, Rung is good at what he does. At least think about it, before you end up drunk and chucking yourself at anyone again.”

She shrugged, “I could have picked worse than Sunny.”

He knew that was true, from what Drift had told him when he'd helped him in the medbay, Luna had been flirting with Whirl, and he didn't want to think about how that could have ended up.

“He cares about you, little one, you know that right?”

“I know, and as I said to him, I feel like you and him are the only friends I have left.”

“I don't think that's true, but you have good taste, at least in one friend.”

She rolled her optic but at least she felt a little better. She knew she could say anything to Ratchet, without judgement and most of the time without a scolding. Sunstreaker was right, she could have picked worse friends.

“So, tell me about this mission to Delphi.”

 

Meanwhile across the ship, Astrid was tucked away in a corner of the observation deck, watching the few crew members who were scattered around the room in various groups. She didn't need to hear their conversation to know what was going on, she could feel all around her what was happening.

She hadn't really met anyone properly yet, whilst her mother thought she was mingling and helping, in fact she'd been travelling the whole ship, unbeknownst to her following Sunstreaker's path as he did the same, getting a feel for everyone on board and gathering her surroundings. Astrid needed to know everything that was going on to ground her, but there was a definite darkness lurking somewhere on her semi permanent home but she couldn't place it. It was troubling.

Her attention was drawn to the doorway but before she could slip away, he'd locked his gaze on her and strolled across towards her with his usual expression.

“Mind if I sit?”

Warily, Astrid shook her helm, bringing her hands into her lap tightly. Rodimus flopped himself down into a chair opposite her, propping an ankle onto his knee and stretching his arms above his helm.

“Hard work, being captain.” His grin deepened, “so, how you finding it onboard?”

She shrugged noncommittally and he tilted his helm at her, trying to meet her gaze.

“You can talk, right? It's not going to be like talking to Bumblebee from when he-”

“I can talk.”

“Ah, so there she is.”

Astrid lifted her gaze, “is there something you want?”

Suddenly, he felt blindsided. Her gaze was intense and it was like she was looking right through him. It took a lot to fluster Rodimus, but he couldn't help but feel that way a little. For a moment, he sat with his mouth open and when she looked away again, he mentally shook himself.

“Uh, no, not particularly. I just wanted to see how everyone was getting on.”

Astrid smiled slyly and looked back up at him, and this time he felt more prepared for her intensity.

“Does mom know you're here?”

“Primus, I haven't got a death wish, of course she does. I found her talking with Ratchet in the medbay and made sure that I was _allowed_ to talk to you. My own ship, and I have to ask for permission, seriously.” He rolled his optics.

“I'm fine.”

“Good. Excited to find the Knights?”

It was Astrid's turn to feel flustered. He was grinning at her with a twinkle in his optics and she cleared the static in her vocaliser about to speak when he did instead.

“I know that's not why you're here.”

“...you do?”

“Honestly, half the crew are here just because they don't want to be on Cybertron or they wanna be doing _something_ , I guess peace isn't for everyone. You're here cause of Luna though right?”

He was surprised when she gave him an amused quirk of her optic ridge whilst she fidgeted with her hands.

“Mom is here because of me.”

“ _You_ wanted to come?”

“Yeah. I…” she didn't want to reveal her true intentions, “wanted to do _something_ that wasn't bickering over what to do. Dad and Prowl can drive anyone crazy if you listen for long enough.”

“Tell me about it.” Rodimus muttered. “Don't suppose you've got any magical powers? Hidden dinosaur? Load bearer?”

It was an offhand remark, and he wasn't expecting anything in particular from her, but she shifted in her chair as if she wanted to say something. He leaned forward, his expression a little more serious.

“Ah. So you do.”

Astrid was hesitant. Luna had always told her to be careful about what she divulged, just in case anyone had less than true intentions but this was the captain, surely he was trust worthy. She held out her hands, and Rodimus tilted his helm questioningly.

“Is this a trick? Your mom said-”

“It's fine. Believe it or not she's trying to protect you, but, it's easier I show you.”

“Show me what?”

But she just wiggled her hands in his direction and he ex-vented.

“Fine, but if Luna kicks my aft, I'm blaming you.”

Uneasily, Rodimus sat forward and unclenched his fists from where he'd closed them tight at her asking him to touch hers. He met her intense optics and then looked down at where she held out her yellow hands. Steadily he lay his hands into hers, and immediately he felt like he'd been shocked, not painfully but it certainly jolted him. She clasped his hands tightly.

The shock was gone and instead he could feel a strange warmth inside him, like his feelings were rushing around his spark, and when he looked at her he could see she'd tilted her helm and closed her optics. Then carefully, she squeezed and let go of him onlining her gaze.

He held up his hands, looking at them, sure that there would be some kind of mark on them but when there wasn't, he stared her down seriously.

“What the **frag**?”

“I'm an empath.”

She shrugged like that explained everything. Rodimus wished he'd brought Drift because if anyone knew weird things, it was him, instead he kept looking at his hands with a scowl.

“What?”

“I can feel emotions, everyone's.” She glanced at some of the others in the room, “only a little if they're far away, but if I touch someone, I can feel everything as if it were my own emotions.”

“Huh.” He softened his gaze, “so that's what that weird feeling was. I feel kinda violated.”

“I know.”

Rodimus gave her a look and she couldn't help but laugh lightly, clasping her hands back together in her lap.

“Sorry.”

“So… can you project it back?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you can feel emotions when you touch someone, can you make them feel something?”

“I-I don't know. I've never tried.”

“Hmm.”

Rodimus threw himself back into the chair, still feeling strange inside and managed to pull his grin back on his face.

“Well, I guess it could come in useful.”

Before she could say anything else he was answering a comms call, rolling his optics and tipping his helm back as he listened half heartedly.

“Yeah yeah, I heard. I'll be there.” He snapped his helm back up, “I've gotta run, but I'll catch you around yeah?”

“Sure.”

Astrid watched Rodimus leave, knowing exactly what he was feeling without even having to ask, and she realised how spectacular he was at faking.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for any kind of errors or just bad writing, I edited it when I was kind of tipsy 😂

Luna was glad that her apology had been accepted by Sunstreaker and Ratchet had actually relented and joined them at Swerve's. They were all sat in a booth, Astrid having joined them not long after they'd gotten there, firing questions at the medic about Delphi which Ratchet begrudgingly answered. Luna was pondering and stirred her drink with her straw.

“At least you're not, you know, dead. Imagine if I'd had to be in charge of the medbay?”

Sunstreaker spluttered on his drink and Luna narrowed her optics at him. Ratchet managed to laugh slightly, still rubbing around his wrists from where they felt strange. She decided to get her own back. 

“Hey Ratch, don't look too obviously but there's some dancing going on that you might wanna see.” 

He looked at his friend carefully, then slowly turned his helm, snapping it back with a scowl when he realised what she meant. She was giggling and leaning into Sunstreaker who was grinning too. 

“He's got some moves, doc.” 

“Shut up both of you. And Astrid, don't you start either.”

The yellow femme merely smiled a little behind her hands. 

Somewhere like Swerve's was hard work on her and she liked being tucked away in the corner, especially next to Ratchet because he usually had control over his emotions, but the little flutter she'd felt at least was a nice emotion. 

“Sunshine, let's go dance too, yeah?” 

“Ugh, really?” He threw his helm back, “I don't really do dancing?” 

“Shut up and dance with me!” 

And then she was climbing over his lap, a wry smile on her face as she sat on him then leapt out of the booth. Ratchet lifted his optic ridges at him and Sunstreaker knocked back the rest of his drink and followed after her, a wry grin on his face. 

“I think your mother could get anyone to do anything.” 

“Like get someone to ask you out?” 

Ratchet looked at Astrid out the corner of his optics and she buried her face further behind her hands but he could still see her smile. With a shake of his helm, he went back to his drink. Curiosity eventually got the better of him though, and he turned back to watch again, pretending to be looking for Luna. 

Her and Sunstreaker were dancing, in their own ridiculous way, but he flicked his optics to where Drift was dancing with Rodimus. He turned back with an ex-vent. He couldn't, he  _ shouldn't,  _ not after Delphi and everything that had dragged up.

Astrid lay her helm down onto his shoulder with a tired ex-vent and Ratchet patted her helm affectionately. 

“If you need space, then go.” 

“I will.” 

“Good. Don't stay just for us.” 

“I don't. But, maybe I should stay just a little longer.” 

Ratchet was about to ask why, when he noticed movement at the edge of the booth and found himself surprised. 

“Drift?” 

“Is it okay to join you? I didn't want to interrupt.” 

Ratchet gestured over to the opposite side of the booth and felt Astrid nudge her leg against him to reassure him that she was there. He was glad. 

Drift's attention wasn't turned to him though, instead he was looking kindly over at Astrid. 

“So you're Astrid?” 

She nodded, almost shyly and moved her gaze away. Ratchet was watching protectively but he was impressed that Drift hadn't tried to reach over in any way. He'd watched too many try to shake Astrid's hand for her to shy away or even worse reach to touch her unexpectedly. 

“Rodimus was telling me that you were the one who wanted to come, not Luna.” 

“I feel like maybe I can make more of a difference here.” 

Ratchet smiled kindly too, “you do make a difference Astrid, you help me plenty.” 

“Only fetching supplies.” She mumbled. 

“I noticed you use a sword too.” 

“Yeah,” she flicked her optics up at Drift briefly, “it was mom's but… she taught me a little.” 

“Well, if you ever want a sparring partner, let me know.” 

Astrid's optics lit up when she looked over at him, where he was still giving her a friendly smile and she glanced over at Ratchet too. 

“Really?” 

“As long as it's okay with Luna.” 

Shyly, she nodded and then turned to Ratchet to speak to him. 

“Are you okay if I go?” 

“Of course sweetspark,” he nodded, “you know where I am if you need anything right?” 

In reply she nodded, bidding Drift a goodbye before she weaved her way through the room. When Ratchet sat back down he was expecting Drift to leave, but the white mech grinned at him across the table. 

“Don't tell me you actually like someone.” 

“You're an aft.” Ratchet ex-vented, “but not to her. You know don't you?” 

“I could tell.” 

“How? And don't give me any slag about auras.” 

“Well…” Drift shrugged, still grinning. 

“Right. Well, thanks, for not being a jerk to her.” 

“I'm not always annoying.” 

“Just a lot right?” 

“Yep. To you.” Drift's optics were on the dancefloor now though, “can I ask something?” 

“Something else?”

Drift ignored him, “why is Luna oblivious?” 

“Hm? What do you mean?” 

“To that.” 

Ratchet edged around again so he could see where Drift had gestured, at Sunstreaker grinning widely as Luna danced seductively with her back pressed against him. He laughed and brought his gaze back to his companion. 

“I don't know.” 

“And I thought she was supposed to be good at reading those kinds of signals.” 

“Her and Sunstreaker have been friends for years,” Ratchet shrugged, “I don't think she thinks he sees her that way.” 

“Who doesn't?” 

And he gestured again to where there was a small group at the bar watching Luna dance. 

“She's not Camien, but she's got something I guess. You want a drink?” 

He shook his helm, “I'm on duty soon. I'm surprised to see you here.” 

“Yeah, well, she said I better lighten up if we have new medics. She's right, but don't tell her that.” 

“I wouldn't dare.” He grinned, “might put me on the wrong side of you.” 

“You already are half the time.” 

 

From across the dancefloor, Sunstreaker swung Luna around and she caught what was happening in the booth she'd vacated. She pulled herself into Sunstreaker with a giggle. 

“You've seen that right?” 

“Who hasn't? It's obvious right? He should just take the chance.” 

“You try to tell Ratchet what to do and let me know how that goes for you. I want a drink, you coming?” 

But another femme was dancing not far behind, and Sunstreaker nodded behind with a grin. Luna caught where he was looking and gave him half a smile along a roll of her optic.

“You know me by now right?” 

“Yeah, I do. Have fun.” 

She watched him edge over to the femme and then left him to, heading towards the bar and jumping up onto a stool. She noticed the mech next to her, and decided to introduce herself. 

“Hey? You're Chromedome right?” 

There was a smirk in his voice, “yeaah?” 

“What?” 

“We've met Luna, we chatted the other night.” 

“Oh  _ frag _ .” She covered her optic with her hand, “I am SO sorry.” 

He laughed, “it's fine, I'm not surprised you don't remember with how much you had to drink.” 

“And me! What about me!” 

She leaned over the bar to where she saw Rewind waving at her and she cringed. 

“Sorry Rewind. Whatever I talked about,  _ I'm sorry. _ ” 

“I'm more upset you didn't remember this cute face!” 

With a laugh, she gestured at the bar. 

“Let me get you a drink in apology.” 

“Sure.” 

“Swerve!” 

More quickly than either of the mechs had ever seen him move, Swerve was suddenly at the bar, leaning over with a big grin at Luna. 

“Yeah?” 

“Be a sweetspark and get me a drink, and whatever these two are having, yeah? Please.” 

With no hesitation, he brought back three drinks and gave Luna another grin. 

“Anything else?” 

“No, but you're the best, you know that right?” 

Chromedome watched in amazement as Swerve lay his helm down on the bar with a happy ex-vent before he was called away. Luna looked back over at them and smiled brightly. 

“Cheers.” 

“You didn't  _ pay _ .” 

“No? You ever catch me in here paying for a drink, then I've been bodyjacked. I'll catch you guys later okay?” 

And as she sashayed away, Chromedome turned to Rewind in astonishment but the smaller mech had his helm tilted at his drink.

“How did she do that?” 

“And erm, why does this taste different? Like it hasn't been watered down?” 

Luna threw herself down next to Ratchet in the booth, placing her drink down even when he gave her a look. She gave Drift a tight smile and took a sip.

“It's my  _ second _ okay?” 

“Did you pay for that one?” 

She snorted, “don't be stupid.” 

Ratchet rolled his optics again and Drift couldn't help but snicker a little. He was intrigued. 

“How do you do it?” 

“Get free drinks?” 

“No I mean, I've seen you in action, you can make anyone do anything.” 

“Nearly anyone.” Ratchet muttered. 

“Wheeljack said he reckons it's like a field, like how we can feel someone's emotions, instead mine has a weird effect where they're entranced. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, depends on who it is.” 

“Is that why…” 

But Drift stopped at the look Ratchet was giving him. Luna was too busy fiddling with the stalk of her glass but she managed a wry smile across at him without looking up.

“What? You think it's all just because I'm pretty?” 

Drift shifted his gaze down at the table. 

“I thought sometimes it was because you can be intimidating.” 

“Me? Coming from the mech with three swords? Wow.” 

Drift finally felt like he could look at her and she had self consciously leant her face into her left hand to try and disguise the damage that was there. Drift realised then that below all of the bravado and flirting, she was full of self doubt and plagued with fear, and that perhaps the small snippets he'd seen of her weren't who she really was. 

Luna leaned into Ratchet with an ex-vent and he let her, without any kind of scowl across his face and Drift found he was slightly jealous. He squashed it back down quickly.

“I spoke to Astrid too, I said, as long as it's fine with you, I'd spar with her if she wanted.” 

Luna looked at him seriously, “sure, she'd love that. Thanks.” 

Suddenly he felt a strange kind of flutter come over him and Luna caught the shock on his face with a laugh. 

“Sorry, sometimes I can't help it.” 

“Yeah. That was… weird.” 

“No weirder than  _ auras _ .” 

“Why are you so grumpy? Well, grumpier. Is it because I dragged you away from work?” 

“No, I just bring out that side in him. I need to go do a handover with Magnus anyway, can someone make sure Rodimus goes back to his hab suite at some point before he's back on duty?” 

Luna laughed into her drink, “don't look at me.” 

“I'll chastise him. I'm good at that.” 

Drift left with only a small nod in reply and Luna turned to Ratchet when it was safe to talk.

“Seriously though what?” 

Ratchet sighed, “I didn't want him to ask you the wrong kind of question.” 

“Oh. Thanks, but, don't you think I can manage it?” 

“Not right now. You're not in a good place.” 

She did what she was good at, and deflected. 

“Yeah, well, Sunny is,” she nodded to where he was leaving with the other femme, “at least someone is happy. C'mon, let's get you back to your medbay before you get withdrawals from work.” 

Finishing her drink, she pulled herself up, fluttering her wings behind her and waited for Ratchet to speak to Rodimus. When he was done she looped an arm around his and beamed brightly when he quirked an optic ridge at her.

“You know sometimes I trip.” 

He didn't say anything, but he let her all the same. They made their way back slowly to Ratchet's sanctuary but he couldn't help but carry on thinking, about Delphi, about Drift, about Pharma. Luna helped bring him out of his reverie briefly as they reached the medbay.

“Well, at least I went home with someone nice tonight right?”

He smiled, “you okay getting back?” 

“Of course. Make sure you don't stay up too late working okay?” 

Luna brushed a kiss against his face, having to stand on her tiptoes and pulling him down a little to do so, then sashayed away with a little wave. As he raised his hand in reply, he knew that he'd be awake for a long time yet, not working, but thinking. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendships are hard work. Friendships with Ratchet? Even harder still.

This was the hardest part, when the room was quiet and the thoughts were too loud and the memories too painful. There was tossing and turning and sighing. If only there was a way to escape it, just be free and not have to endure this unlimited time of a processor allowed to roam freely, picking the traumatizing, the hardest to deal with, the downright awful to play with.

Whilst Luna turned and flickered her optic open in one hab suite, Ratchet was in his own doing the same.

It wasn't just seeing Pharma, it was Drift prying even if he hadn't intended to. He could already see Luna teetering at the top of a downward spiral and the last thing he wanted was to see her slip down it.

But then there was Pharma too. He rolled over again, desperately trying to fall into a recharge but it was no use, he was undoubtedly meant to stay awake. Knowing he couldn't stay here staying at the dark ceiling of his hab suite, he decided he would go back down to the medbay and find something aimless to do there.

He was in a world of his own as he walked, and suddenly someone was catching up with him. Surprise flitted across his features.

“Thought you were busy?”

Sunstreaker grinned, “she wanted me to walk her back to her hab suite, seeing as we just had a spark eater on board, who could blame her?”

“Mmhm.”

“C'mon doc,” Sunstreaker laughed, “I'm not always so…”

“You?” Ratchet rubbed at his helm, “so where you off to now?”

“Dunno, might walk around some more and then crawl into an empty berth all on my own. Such a shame.”

Ratchet grunted, “can't always have what we want. _Who_ we want.”

Sunstreaker's grin faltered a little but Ratchet caught it out of the corner of his optics.

“Yeah, well, just wanted to see if you knew where Luna was.”

“She went back to her hab suite.”

“Cool, yeah, as long as she's not dancing on the tables in Swerve's again. I'll catch you later.”

And the yellow mech took off, turning down the left corridor whilst Ratchet took the right. Drift was right, why was Luna so totally oblivious?

* * *

 

A long week dragged on, with no excitement, with no drama, until Fort Max strolled into Swerve's and started shooting. Ratchet was thrown into the midst of chaos and throughout the whole ordeal attempting to contact Luna, and when she didn't pick up after the third call, the irritation wore off and the worry set in instead. He patched a call through to Sunstreaker instead and the yellow mech ended up with the brunt of his anger.

“Where's Luna?”

“I'm not her fragging keeper,” he sounded strained, “I'm a little busy here.”

“Doing what exactly?” he snapped.

“Bringing you another patient.”

Sunstreaker ended the call abruptly and Ratchet sighed, feeling a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Astrid spoke quietly, “I'll go get more med grade from storage.”

“Thanks.”

When Sunstreaker came in helping a seriously wounded Whirl to a berth, Luna ran in right behind, turning her attention to where First Aid was already setting up a berth for him and fetching what they would need. Just as he was relieved that it might actually be all over, he got the Comms through from Rodimus that Rung would need thorough attention.

* * *

 

Later on, when everyone was fixed, and Rung was as stable as could be, Luna was near enough ready to shut down on her feet when Ratchet approached her. She was leaning back in his chair and she didn't want to meet his gaze directly for fear of him looking right through her the way he was good at, so instead she placed her helm in her hand covering her optic and maybe hoped he'd go away, but instead he stood waiting. Finally she lost her patience.

“It's been a very long day, so whatever it is, just say it.” she snapped.

Aware that not far away, were First Aid and Ambulon, Astrid having been sent to recharge a while ago, he leant against his desk beside her and ex-vented.

He'd spoken to both Sunstreaker and Astrid who had confirmed his worse fears. All week neither of them had barely seen Luna, and when they had, she'd been in Swerve's insisting that she would catch up with them later on. Astrid had said she'd heard Luna come into the hab suite late if she had even come home at all and Sunstreaker had said any time he'd tried to stay with her, she'd grown snappy with him. When Ratchet had seen her in the medbay, she'd been reserved and tired, and as soon as she was done with her shift, she'd disappeared instead of waiting to talk with him like she usually did. He figured it meant only one thing.

“I couldn't get a hold of you.”

“I was busy, is that a crime? I was here eventually.”

“And where were you before that?”

She snapped her helm up at his accusatory tone, narrowing her optic at him.

“What are you getting at Ratchet?”

“Astrid and Sunstreaker haven’t seen you all week, so I was just concerned-”

“That what?” She started to shout, “that I was drunk? Or sleeping around? Because that's the only other things I do huh?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You didn't need to. I don't need to tell you slag.”

“I just know when you're finding things tough, you struggle to deal with it in a _good_ way. And I know things have been tough, with Starscream walking free.”

“And that's how you think I still deal with it?”

“I'm not judging-”

“Aren't you?”

The chair went backwards as she stood, filled with fury at what she thought Ratchet was trying to say. She knew herself, she knew what she was doing, and as for judging her, that's exactly what he was doing.

“Luna,” his gaze flicked to the other medics who were pretending not to be looking, “not here.”

She stormed out of the medbay and along the corridor a little, waiting for him to materialise, and when he did, he felt the full force of her temper.

“You are judging! When you've got absolutely no idea or no right to! You're not in my head, don't try and make me think you are.”

“Well, the head doctor is a little predisposed right now-”

“I don't need a fragging psych!”

She crossed the small gap between them, bringing her face to his and pointing aggressively at the medbay.

“You needed me, I came, so what if I was busy beforehand. I didn't answer because I was actually helping deal with some of the more minor injuries so you didn't have to, but that's fine, I'll let you deal with cuts and dents as well as everything else, let's face it you don't need me anymore.”

“That's not true Luna, I'm just worried about you, can't you see that?”

“A worried friend doesn't bandy around accusations without any proof,” she huffed, leaning back against the wall.

There were several helms either peeking around doors, or around the corners leading down into the corridor, and Ratchet rolled his optics. Anything for a free show. He hoped that maybe she was a little calmer now, and he tried to place a hand on her shoulder, but that seemingly tipped her back over the edge. Aggressively she shoved away his touch and either ignorant or impassive about the ones watching, she pointed a digit at him.

“Maybe you're just jealous.”

He really tried to shrug that one off, but it stung him, just as she knew it would. Jealous that she could let go and relax, jealous that she had her pick of anyone. For a moment, he regarded her with his optics, trying to figure out how he was going to handle it, but when he didn't see any kind of regret in hers, he exploded.

“How dare you?! I'm your friend, and I'm trying to look out for you, but you know what, throw yourself at whoever you like! I'm not going to stay and listen to this!”

As he went to turn and retreat back to the medbay, she stepped in his way and gave him a nasty look. She was furious with him, for implying what he was. His hands clenched, not that he would use them on her, but it was instinct for him after so long. Ex-venting slowly, he spoke quietly and calmly but there was warning in his vocals.

“I suggest, you go and sleep off this mood that you're in, and come back to work when you can be a reasonable member of the team.”

“It doesn't matter now, you've got the team you need, so I quit.”

“So what are you going to spend your time doing now? Drinking?!”

“I'll do as I damn please, without someone who I thought was a friend judging and interfering with me.”

“You need help! I thought maybe you were past all this, but you're not are you? It's not like any Decepticons ever did anything to the rest of us right?”

“So if you'd been through what I had, you wouldn't be angry right? You've got **_no idea_ **, none at all! You'd never understand the pain of… of...”

“No I don't understand, I'm not you, I don't understand why you carry this self pity around with you.”

Luna totally lost her cool, and she lunged for Ratchet, swinging for his jaw. As his helm snapped round from the contact, he grabbed for her wrists and pushed her back against the wall, optics dark and narrowed.

“Okay! Okay!”

Sunstreaker was pulling Ratchet off Luna and as she went to go for him again, Drift stepped in front of her, blocking her with his frame rather than touching her.

Rodimus stood behind Luna, ex-venting and shaking his helm at the sight.

“Shows over folks, go home.”

Immediately doors were slammed and retreating steps were heard. The captain of the ship surveyed the frozen chaos around him, and rubbed at his helm. Even he had to admit, it was entertaining to watch Ratchet get put in his place, but when punches started to get thrown, he knew he needed to step in.

Ratchet was shrugging Sunstreaker off him roughly, staring Luna down. Finally the fight had gone from her, and she was backing away slightly.

“I expect to break up brawls in the bar, but outside the medbay? Really?” Rodimus placed his hands on his hips, “Tensions are high enough. I should sanction you both.”

“Sorry, I wasn't _expecting_ to have a fight with someone.”

Drift held out a hand placatingly at Ratchet whilst Rodimus rolled his optics and shook his helm, speaking firmly.

“Give it a rest. What was this even over?”

“Oh, just me being who he expects me to be!”

“Luna,” Drift looked at her then back at Ratchet, “Ratchet?”

“I haven't seen her all week so I wanted to make sure she wasn't… that she was okay.”

A flicker of amusement passed over Drift's features and Ratchet scowled at him. How dare be find this funny with his stupid grin.

“What?”

“She's been with me.”

“What?!”

Luna crossed her arms, “I did tell you, but I guess you weren't _listening_ . I'm kind of trying to work through things. I am able to talk to mechs without _fragging_ them.”

Rodimus stepped in next to her, trying to diffuse the situation before it got heated again.

“Come on Luna, take a walk.”

He started off in the opposite direction and when he saw she wasn't following, he turned and tilted his helm with a slightly smug look.

“I can always get Magnus down here and chuck you in the brig.”

Luna ex-vented and follow him reluctantly, with a wistful glance back at Sunstreaker.

Drift regarded Ratchet and nodded in the direction of the medbay.

“Maybe you ought to get First Aid to check you out, she hit you pretty hard.”

“It's fine. I've got work to do.”

The medic retreated into his lair, his face and spark stinging from the whole ordeal.

Drift turned his helm from where Sunstreaker whistled, throwing his thumb in the direction of Ratchet.

“They might be friends, but jeez they bring out the worst in each other sometimes.”

Drift nodded mutely. He knew exactly how complicated friendships could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got kind of carried away with my other fic so Luna took a back step for now. Let me know if you'd like more soon 😊


End file.
